Gag Me With A Spoon

I had the most disgusting thing happen at work yesterday.

I had just gotten done helping another patron, when Diane asked me to check in some books that a woman had just set up on the counter. They were on the other end of the desk, so I slid then toward me, and when I went to pick the first one up about 5 roaches (the small infestation ones) and various other bugs all swarmed out. I freaked, and moved the keyboard out of the way, and then Diane and I spent the next five minutes stomping and trying to squish the little suckers. The woman? Completely unfazed - apparently she was returning the books for someone else and hadn't noticed the "little pets" (her term, not mine). When she came back up to check out more, she said she'd try to keep an eye out for them next time.

Oh and the best part? This woman is very large, and was wearing just a sports bra with a denim button-down shirt open over it. I know this is an unspoken rule, but let me say it, just in case there are people out there who think otherwise: If your stomach sticks out farther than your chest, you shouldn't be wearing any midriff-baring tops.

Prolonging The War? $124 Billion...

Jeb Bush being denied an honorary degree from the University of Florida? Priceless.

Read the article here.

Tag! I'm it!

These probably won't surprise anyone but here are

10 random facts about me:

1. I am the first woman (I think) to dress in drag at High Springs Community Theater. If that's not true, then I'm the first woman to dress in double drag (I was Klinger in MASH)

2. I have a thing for tall, kinda geeky guys with glasses - don't ask me why - I just know that at least in college, those were the guys I had a thing for.

3. I won tickets to Super Soap Weekend at Disney by writing an email to a radio station in Orlando about how my life was like a soap opera.

4. I have been to 6 countries in the past 3 years.

5. I have dyed my hair every color under the sun except black. (You can't cover that up once it grows out)

6. I have met The Crystal Method, Iggy Pop, Cake, Bill Clinton, John Edwards, sat behind Janet Reno, talked to Jon Stewart...wow I feel like such a name- dropping whore now.

7. I have moved at least 15 times in my life (maybe more - I'm not too sure about before kindergarten)

8. I went to both my junior and senior year proms and spent about 1 1/2 there combined.

9. I have a morbid fascination with death. I love the book Stiff: Curious Lives of Human Cadavers, the show Six Feet Under, and recently started researching Victorian post-mortem photography.

10. I am a walking library catalog. Ask me about a topic, and I can get pretty close to the call number or I can least point you to the right section.

I was tagged by Ethan to do this, so the following 10 people are tagged: Glenn, Laurie, Jane, Caitlin, Kate, Mary, Amber, Melissa, Jodie, and Ryan.

Update: "Where does it say that?"

The woman came up yesterday and apologized. I was blown away - that never happens! People here just treat you like crap and then pretend it didn't happen the next time they come in.

I told her that didn't happen very often, and she thought that I meant people weren't rude very often. Ha ha. I explained that people didn't apologize and thanked her for it.

Where Does It Say That?

I was just having a peachy day at work - up until about the last 15 minutes. That's the time we start shutting down all the public computers. One woman had stayed on, and I told her it was time to get up. Well here - it went something like this:

Me: "OK, it's time to get up."

Snotty Woman: "But there's still 15 minutes left."

Me:"Actually we start shutting our computers down 15 minutes before we close."

SN:"Where does it say that?"

Me:"Um, well they made an announcement 15 minutes ago, and they made another one just now."

SN:"OK, but where does it say that?"

WTF?! Fine! I was bound and determined to find it, because I'll be damned if I let someone mouth off to me when I know I'm right. I started looking in our notebook that had copies of the Internet usage agreement, but couldn't find it. Finally I grabbed the copy available for patrons, and lo in behold, in print, it was there.

Me:"There. Second one down."

SN:"Well do you have a suggestion box?"

Me:"Well I think you can get online to - "

SN:(interrupting) "Well not NOW."

Me:"Tomorrow then, or you can call the director and talk to her."

What a bitch. I was ready to fight after that, but instead met my sister at Fu King where we giggled like kindergartners over Koon Poo Chicken.

How Many Idiots Does It Take...?

We've just switched over to a new system at work, and as a result, our new web page has been on the fritz. Unfortunately, our main catalogs at the library are dependent upon the website.

Well Nicole and I were sitting at reference, when I noticed some people were over at the catalog. I knew the catalog was shot, so I was just waiting for them to realize it and come over to ask me about the location of some books. 10 minutes later they're still standing there slack-jawed looking at the computer. Finally they came over, and the guy asked about a website for car prices. We gave them some, and they walked over to one of our computers on the perimeter. These don't have Internet access either, so Nicole and I just watched, waiting for them to realize and to come back.

1o minutes later they're still starting at a web page that won't come up. Then a THIRD person comes up, and they sit there for another 5 minutes. I just couldn't take it anymore, and I walked over to tell them that it didn't have Internet...jeez.

I Call Him Jon Stewart, He Calls Me Miss

I know I have been a total slacker. I really need to write more on this personal blog, but the supergroup seems to sap all my creativity each week. (Though some who have read my posts there might beg to differ)

Anyways, I thought I'd tell you all about my trip to NYC. The plane ride over was rather uneventful - though going through security in Jacksonville took longer than in JFK on the way back. Laurie met me at the airport, and after what seemed like riding for forever on the subway we got to her place, dropped off my stuff, and went to meet her friends for drinks.

We went to this tiny Irish bar - this place was barely wider than most hallways - and I finally got to meet Laurie's friend Christine, along with some of her friends - Gideon, Anwar, some other chick, and this damn fine guy, Adam. They had started long before we got there, so we only had about 1 drink, and everyone went their own ways. So Laurie and I decided to go to Trader Joe's (this grocery store) so I wouldn't spend all of my money on food. I kid you not, the line for the cash registers wraps around the inside of the building. Good food for really reasonable prices, but Jesus, waiting in line - thankfully I was there with Laurie, so we could keep hopping in and out of line to grab stuff while we waited.

The next day Laurie had to go to a meeting in Denver. I was awakened at about 4 in the morning because she didn't have any cash and she needed to pay for a ride, as the one that was supposed to be there was going to be 1/2 hr late. My original intention for that day was to go to the Today show with a sign saying "I just got to NYC last night, and today my friend abandoned me" - not that I actually felt that way, but because it would get me attention and some airtime. Alas, my laziness got the better of me (well and being woken up) and I slept in 'til about 9, left the house about 11, and made my way to the Guggenheim. Unfortunately, the outside was being worked on, so all I could see was scaffolding, but the inside didn't disappoint. (I wish I had something other than dialup, otherwise I'd post some pics right now). To add to the disappointment, there was also a school group there that day to add to the crowds, so I didn't get to spend as much time looking at some paintings as I would have liked.

I bought a citypass (this little booklet with discounted tickets to museums and other attractions), and it had a ticket to the Natural History Museum, so I though "what the heck". I looked at the map and saw it was just on the other side of Central Park, so I decided to just cut through. (I probably would've visited at some point anyways). I was starting on a path, but after a few minuted realized I couldn't follow it through like I thought, as it was curving in the wrong direction. I had pulled out a map, when a woman came up and asked if I needed help. I told her where I was going, and she pointed me in the right direction, and I finally got there.

My booklet not only gave me admission to the museum, but also paid for a show in the planetarium. After meandering for an hour I made my way to the planetarium. Very cool show, but some of the info was questionable. They presented this theory as to how the moon was created (which I had never heard before), in which this asteroid or some other enormous thing crashed into the earth when it was still forming, and all this magma and rock flew into space. Well the earth's gravity kept it in orbit, and after one week (that's right - they somehow know it was one week) the bits started forming together, and after one month we had the moon. Such bullshit. I mean, I suppose that could be the way it was formed, but they shouldn't have given a timeline. Aside from that though, the museum is really cool - I barely saw a third of it (and I didn't even really read any signs) - definitely worth checking out if you ever go to NY. (I might be a bit biased though - I've always loved science or science-type museums). Sadly after that I was completely exhausted, and made my way home and just chilled out. Laurie didn't get home til about 11, and we planned to go shopping the next day.

Yet again we slept in - til about 10 - and didn't get out of the house til about 12. We made our way over to SoHo to check out the shops. It was pretty crowded down there, but it was a nice day, so everyone was out and about. I had an strange old man tell me that I looked good in black and green. One place we stopped in was Girl Props. Laurie told me that for the longest time she thought it was an adult toy shop for women, but it actually just had cheap accessories. The rest of the shops were ho-hum, mainly shops that I couldn't get much in because I'm not Laurie's size. However we did go to MoCCA, the Museum of Comic and Cartoon Art. Not very large - about the size of one's apartment, but they had some cool exhibits, like the retrospective on Stan Lee, and another on Saturday morning cartoons. I think we finished that day by going to see Children of Men. Excellent film - very glad I went to see it.

The next day we went to shops that I wanted to see. First though, the Museum of Sex. I have to say this was one of the most fun things that we did on this trip. The first floor was the changing exhibit, which at the time was on kink and fetishism. Really interesting, though I have to confess I had seen a lot of it on Real Sex on HBO. Pony play, Cannibalism, Balloon Poppers, Plushies - the works. There was a chart that laid out all the underlying themes and the connections between different ones, and next to the ones females particularly favored, they had the little female symbol. The next floor up was a history of porn with, of course, video. It started with the beginnings of film up to modern day - even the celebrity movies. (Paris Hilton's? Boring!) Laurie told me later that at some point in time she realized that we were just watching porn in public with a bunch of strangers. The third floor had all sorts of toys throughout time, including the real dolls. They had the torso of one you could grope and prod, and I have to say it didn't really feel all that real to me. And the hairstyles you could choose from? All out of the 80's. They had some cool stuff in the gift shop - like shirts that said "She comes first", but I didn't get anything. I ended up blowing most of my money later that day at Lush (it's an addiction) and Lane Bryant (40% everything in the store - even clearance!)

Monday I was on my own again, so I went to the MoMA. It was fantastic, and like walking through an art history book - I recognized at least 1/2 the works in display. I wandered around that area a bit, went to Rockefeller Center, Radio City Music Hall, and St. Patrick's cathedral. I then decided to brave Chinatown. It's like a giant flea market, but with signs you can't read and people who speak another language. It's all cheap T-shirts and knock off handbags. After walking awhile, I found the restaurant my guidebook recommended, the Golden Unicorn. It was excellent - I had dim sum (dumplings for anyone not in the know), and I ended up trying about 6 dishes (hey- each only had about 3 pieces ea.), mainly because the women kept coming by with carts and I couldn't get them to go away. It was still early when I got done, so I trekked back up to Midtown to visit FAO Schwarz.(It was snowing pretty hard once I got off the subway). As I rounded the corner, I saw the famous Apple store Laurie had told me about. It's just his giant glass cube with a lit up Apple logo hanging in the middle - that's it, because the actual store is underground. The toy store was cool (no, I didn't dance on the giant piano), but I didn't have much time to look around.

Tuesday I slept in 'til about 10, then went to take Laurie out to lunch. Unfortunately, I got a little lost - as someone just told me to head west, and it was noon (and my compass was in my other pants), but she found me and we went to this kickass noodle place. Then we made a stop at Jacques Torres' chocolate store, and I made my way to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I knew I didn't have time to see everything, so I just saw the Egyptian wing, arms and armory, musical instruments, and some of the medieval wing. I also planned to wait til dark, and then go to the Empire State Building, but the museum closed at about 5:15, and it was really cold and windy, so I didn't bother waiting around. Thankfully there wasn't a wait, and I was able to go right up. It was pretty amazing, but would've been a little pricey had I not bought the citypass. That night, Laurie and I drank a bottle and a half of wine between us and were pretty drunk. Yes, on a Tuesday night as well.

The next day was the taping of the Daily Show! First though, we met up with a friend from high school who happened to be visiting the same time I was. We went to Mariella's for a slice, as it had been on Oprah as having some of the best pizza in the country. I thought it was really good, but Laurie said she had better. Unfortunately, Veronita was a little late, so we only had about 20 minutes to talk before we had to leave to get in line. We waited for forever, but finally made it in. I thought that maybe they shot more footage and edited it before airing, but I guess with the time restraints they can't - everything you see on TV is what was filmed. (The exception being the link-up with Stephen Colbert - both he and Jon Stewart lost it and they had to refilm). Winton Marsalis was the guest, but it was really uncomfortable to watch - he wasn't as personable as most guests, though that might have been because he has a new cd out and the damn dj didn't play anything from it between bits. (I really wanted to hear it). After the main taping, they had to tape an intro to the global edition, and Jon Stewart asked if anyone had seen it . I think I was the only one to raise my hand and he asked me where I had been. (I was talking to Jon Stewart!!!) I told him Switzerland and he said "How did they feel about it? I'm guessing neutral." After everyone laughed he goes - "No really, what were you doing over there - skiing?". I told him that I had a friend who was teaching English and he said "Yeah, ok. *wink*" That was it, but still pretty damn cool. Laurie and I then went to Times Square - oh.my.god. It was so crowded and it was just other tourists. They go home thinking that's what NYC is like, but the truth it there were times I'd only pass a few people on some streets.

All in all it was a really great trip, and I'm glad I got to hang out with Laurie. Hopefully you actually made it all the way through to this point.

My 15 Second of Fame

So I was at the reference desk tonight, and Nicole and I were looking up stuff on google. She says "Oh my friend and I have searched our names - just type Stephanie _____  in quotes and see what comes up". I did, and nothing. So I just typed in "Stephanie ______", not expecting much, and the first link was imdb. So we click it and are looking at the page, and I go "Oh my god! That's me!". She goes "nuh-uh". "Yeah - there's Glenn _____ too", and she says "Oh, well I guess it is you - I didn't believe you 'til I saw his name".

Here is the link to the page - crazy. I knew that Killian and Jodie were on there because they worked on some real films (ok low-budget, but they were feature length). So go to imdb and look up all our friends. (Or for those people who don't know my friends - Glenn _____, Jeremy _____, Matt ____, and Jodie _____)

Oh - and I'm going to post about my trip to NY soon when I have more time - so probably Friday.