Transvestites and Sugar Mummies

I’ve been thinking about a lot of random things lately. For instance, what’s the difference between a transvestite and a cross-dresser? Is a cross-dresser just someone who does it occasionally, while whereas a transvestite is a lifestyle?

Then there’s the double standard between genders as far as sexuality. I’m not going to reiterate the whole “If a woman sleeps around, she’s a slut – if a guy sleeps around, he’s a stud” thing. We’ve heard it too many times, and while I think that attitudes are changing somewhat, that standard still applies. Rather, what I’ve been thinking about was prompted by a conversation I had on New Year’s Eve. Liz and Megan told me that to get your lower age limit of the dating pool you take your age, half it, and add 7 – which puts my age limit at about 20. Well - that’s the limit if you don’t want to be taken as a creepy old man/woman. But then I started thinking – women don’t really have that kind of stigma. Older women dating younger guys are now called “cougars”, and it’s kind of a cool thing, whereas most men are looked upon as scum if they’re dating someone too much younger than themselves.


That’s not the way I personally feel – I think it’s pretty creepy no matter what your gender, particularly after watching a BBC documentary titled “Sugar Mummies”, which was all about women who were dating guys about 20 years their junior or younger. The ones where both were a bit older weren’t as bad as the woman in her 30s engaged to a 17 yr old. That’s just wrong on so many levels. She tried to tell the interviewer that she was often mistaken for someone in her 20s, but it was pretty obvious that there was no way that was true. I don’t know what the laws are in England, but I’m pretty sure that relationship is borderline (if not actually) illegal here in the States. Dating someone that age when I was that same age was bad enough, I can’t imagine being my age now, or ever older trying to date a 17 yr old.


Just think about all those news stories about teachers sleeping with their students. Most of them are women, and get off with what I equate to a slap on the wrist. Though I have yet to compare, I’m sure that men found in similar situations would have the book thrown at them.


This wasn’t just prompted by documentaries and conversations. I’ve had a couple of friends in recent years marry people who are about 20 years older than them, and it’s been quite disturbing to me. It would be one thing if these guys looked like Johnny Depp, but trust me – they’re nowhere close. Now I know that’s awfully superficial of me – crucify me if you like – but the gap in age is also bothersome. Do they have daddy issues or is it just self-esteem? I just assumed that they didn’t think they could get anyone better, so they just settled – which is the most depressing thing I can think of. Am I just that cynical? Can I not just accept that maybe they actually found someone they love and want to be with? Maybe I just see a lot of similarity between me and these women – though I have to admit, I’m extremely picky, and not likely to settle for just any old person.

Are you going to Hoggetowne Faire?

There's so little to write, so much time with which to write it! Wait - scratch that, reverse it.

I have so much to talk about since I have been the ultimate slacker. I was pretty much the Ally Sheedy of bloggers (get it? Since I pretty much fell off the face of the earth for the last 6 months). But I am back, and ready to fill you all in on the goings-on of my life since I've been away. And don't worry, there is much to tell- more crazy stories about my mom, weddings, deaths, births - *sigh* I almost don't know where to start.

How about what has been taking up most of my free time? The Hoggetowne medieval faire. Last year I did a show, A Midsummer Night's Dream, with several people who were apart of a group in Gainesville called the Thieves' Guilde. (And no, they don't go around stealing stuff - that wold be illegal, but pretty cool). The group does the human chessboard (think wizards' chess) at the faire every year. They're not SCA - it's mainly just getting to do some cool fights in costumes that look vaguely medieval. Mike, who played Oberon, called me asking if I would be his stage manager, which I had to refuse because it was too much to try drive to Gville every weekend. Well he called me again later and asked if I would be costume coordinator, which didn't have much of a time commitment, and so I said yes, much to my chagrin now.

I don't know why I said yes - I don't know how to sew, but he said that wouldn't be a problem - it was mainly just making sure people stuck to the color schemes we set for each side. Easy, right? I have never felt so stupid in my life - seriously. People asked me a million questions about sewing, none of which I could really answer. But I'm glad I agreed, because I also ended up auditioning and getting a lead role. I am playing Morgause - head bitch on the black side. This year is Mordred and Morgause v. Arthur and Guinevere - and it looks like the show will be good. If you don't know the story - basically, I am Arthur's sister, and our child (yes, OUR child) is Mordred, who is hell-bent on killing Arthur and overtaking the crown. I am basically Becky Sharp from Vanity Fair, with a bit of Medea (old Greek legend - not the black woman) thrown in for good measure. It's all about climbing the social ladder for me. Sounds like fun, right?

I've got a kickass dress being made, and just dyed my hair black for the role. Also? I've been making the banners, Guinevere's crown (I'll try to post pics), and the black side crowns that will be made of wire and sausage casing (which dries to look like skin - it's wicked). So if anyone is in the area - you should come see me. It's the last two weekends in January at the Alachua County Fairgrouds. I think it's a $10 admission fee. *correction - it's $12 to get in*