Transvestites and Sugar Mummies

I’ve been thinking about a lot of random things lately. For instance, what’s the difference between a transvestite and a cross-dresser? Is a cross-dresser just someone who does it occasionally, while whereas a transvestite is a lifestyle?

Then there’s the double standard between genders as far as sexuality. I’m not going to reiterate the whole “If a woman sleeps around, she’s a slut – if a guy sleeps around, he’s a stud” thing. We’ve heard it too many times, and while I think that attitudes are changing somewhat, that standard still applies. Rather, what I’ve been thinking about was prompted by a conversation I had on New Year’s Eve. Liz and Megan told me that to get your lower age limit of the dating pool you take your age, half it, and add 7 – which puts my age limit at about 20. Well - that’s the limit if you don’t want to be taken as a creepy old man/woman. But then I started thinking – women don’t really have that kind of stigma. Older women dating younger guys are now called “cougars”, and it’s kind of a cool thing, whereas most men are looked upon as scum if they’re dating someone too much younger than themselves.


That’s not the way I personally feel – I think it’s pretty creepy no matter what your gender, particularly after watching a BBC documentary titled “Sugar Mummies”, which was all about women who were dating guys about 20 years their junior or younger. The ones where both were a bit older weren’t as bad as the woman in her 30s engaged to a 17 yr old. That’s just wrong on so many levels. She tried to tell the interviewer that she was often mistaken for someone in her 20s, but it was pretty obvious that there was no way that was true. I don’t know what the laws are in England, but I’m pretty sure that relationship is borderline (if not actually) illegal here in the States. Dating someone that age when I was that same age was bad enough, I can’t imagine being my age now, or ever older trying to date a 17 yr old.


Just think about all those news stories about teachers sleeping with their students. Most of them are women, and get off with what I equate to a slap on the wrist. Though I have yet to compare, I’m sure that men found in similar situations would have the book thrown at them.


This wasn’t just prompted by documentaries and conversations. I’ve had a couple of friends in recent years marry people who are about 20 years older than them, and it’s been quite disturbing to me. It would be one thing if these guys looked like Johnny Depp, but trust me – they’re nowhere close. Now I know that’s awfully superficial of me – crucify me if you like – but the gap in age is also bothersome. Do they have daddy issues or is it just self-esteem? I just assumed that they didn’t think they could get anyone better, so they just settled – which is the most depressing thing I can think of. Am I just that cynical? Can I not just accept that maybe they actually found someone they love and want to be with? Maybe I just see a lot of similarity between me and these women – though I have to admit, I’m extremely picky, and not likely to settle for just any old person.