Alright, I feel I should post something a little lighter, and since I was a lazy slacker and didn't post this when it happened, I should do it now.
Does everyone remember the woman who brought in the books filled with roaches? Really, how could you forget? Well a few weeks ago she came in with an Outkast shirt on that said "So Fresh and So Clean". Excuse me, waiter? There's some irony in my soup.
That same day I signed Howard Johnson up for a library card. I thought about making some smartass remark, but I figure the poor guy gets it all the time, so for once I kept my mouth shut.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Limbo
Purgatory. That's what state my life is in right now - that irritating not knowing what's going to happen next. Of course you may ask how that differs from everyday life, unless one was psychic. To that I would reply - "Ha ha, smartass. Don't take things so literally - you know that I mean." Because though you may not know what will happen, most of you can safely assume you will be living in the same house, the same town, be at the same job a month from now. Not so for me. I could still be here, or I could be living in Lakeland or Columbus, OH.
About a week or so ago my mother decided that the principal of her school is trying to get her fired, so she's going to quit before that can happen. Before you suggest it, I'm sure she is well aware that she'd get unemployment if fired, but I think she's afraid that she'll never be able to teach again if the principal gets her way. So she's applied for a job in AL, and goes for an interview Tues. There are also all the signs from God she's gotten that this is the best plan of action : 1. She didn't throw away the boxes from when we moved less than a year ago. 2. It's coming up on 1 yr, so we wouldn't have to break our lease to move. 3. I mentioned a job in Ohio doing children's programming before she told me about possibly getting fired.
I can't afford our house by myself or even with Kellie, so if she moves, I inevitably have to move. And it's here that I become completely ambivalent. On the one hand, I really want to move away from Lake City. I am damn sick of moving - it's been once a year for 15 yrs, like the military, but without the benefits of being a military brat. I am ready to move somewhere and stay there for a few years. I applied for a job in OH, but I'm doubtful that I'll get it. I could move in with my grandmother in Lakeland, but I'd spend all of my free time cleaning out her junk-filled house.
However I find myself getting really upset when I think about moving away. It's has nothing to do with the town itself, or my job, but rather the people I work with (most of them), my friends, and people who go to my church (some are under all 3 categories). I'd be more upset moving away from people like Diane and Beverly than my own mother. They're family.
The problem with staying in Lake City (aside from the objections that I'm just hindering myself that I'm sure to hear), is that it would probably mean moving several times. I could move into the trailer on Becky's property, but when she and Jeremy start building their house, I'd have to move b/c they'd get rid of the trailer. Though I haven't approached them about it yet, Caitlin's parents might let me move into her old room, but again, I couldn't stay there for any real length of time, and as I mentioned earlier I'm tired of moving constantly.
Of course, the whole thing could be a moot point. My mother might not get the job in AL. I still feel I need some kind of a plan though, because sitting around and waiting really sucks.
About a week or so ago my mother decided that the principal of her school is trying to get her fired, so she's going to quit before that can happen. Before you suggest it, I'm sure she is well aware that she'd get unemployment if fired, but I think she's afraid that she'll never be able to teach again if the principal gets her way. So she's applied for a job in AL, and goes for an interview Tues. There are also all the signs from God she's gotten that this is the best plan of action : 1. She didn't throw away the boxes from when we moved less than a year ago. 2. It's coming up on 1 yr, so we wouldn't have to break our lease to move. 3. I mentioned a job in Ohio doing children's programming before she told me about possibly getting fired.
I can't afford our house by myself or even with Kellie, so if she moves, I inevitably have to move. And it's here that I become completely ambivalent. On the one hand, I really want to move away from Lake City. I am damn sick of moving - it's been once a year for 15 yrs, like the military, but without the benefits of being a military brat. I am ready to move somewhere and stay there for a few years. I applied for a job in OH, but I'm doubtful that I'll get it. I could move in with my grandmother in Lakeland, but I'd spend all of my free time cleaning out her junk-filled house.
However I find myself getting really upset when I think about moving away. It's has nothing to do with the town itself, or my job, but rather the people I work with (most of them), my friends, and people who go to my church (some are under all 3 categories). I'd be more upset moving away from people like Diane and Beverly than my own mother. They're family.
The problem with staying in Lake City (aside from the objections that I'm just hindering myself that I'm sure to hear), is that it would probably mean moving several times. I could move into the trailer on Becky's property, but when she and Jeremy start building their house, I'd have to move b/c they'd get rid of the trailer. Though I haven't approached them about it yet, Caitlin's parents might let me move into her old room, but again, I couldn't stay there for any real length of time, and as I mentioned earlier I'm tired of moving constantly.
Of course, the whole thing could be a moot point. My mother might not get the job in AL. I still feel I need some kind of a plan though, because sitting around and waiting really sucks.
Sunday, September 2, 2007
Varying Degrees of Ridiculousness
I've been such a slacker - I figured it was time for an update abut all the funny, strange things that I've noticed.
To start with, I found a book in our library called One Hand for Yourself, One Hand for the Ship - A Guide to One-handed Sailing. Now is it just me, or does this sound like a masturbation book to anyone else?
The second wickedly amusing thing- I was mailing out overdue notices when I came across this:
Windy Gayle Thompson*
1167 Stormy Glen
*I changed the last name and house number, but that is seriously the name and street of the person.
Third, I got to see the Superfreak get bitched out by someone's mother. (Unfamiliar with the Superfreak? Read my original confrontation here.) So this past Thurs, Kate and I were up at the cafe for karaoke night, when of course he came in. Surprisingly, he hasn't been his usual supercreepy self, but apparently someone else has been on the end of his attentions, because when we went to leave this woman was screaming at him in the parking lot. She kept yelling "Stay away from my daughter! If I ever see you hit on her again, I'll rip you apart!". It was really scary, and I kinda felt bad for him, but at the same time I absolutely reveled in it.
To start with, I found a book in our library called One Hand for Yourself, One Hand for the Ship - A Guide to One-handed Sailing. Now is it just me, or does this sound like a masturbation book to anyone else?
The second wickedly amusing thing- I was mailing out overdue notices when I came across this:
Windy Gayle Thompson*
1167 Stormy Glen
*I changed the last name and house number, but that is seriously the name and street of the person.
Third, I got to see the Superfreak get bitched out by someone's mother. (Unfamiliar with the Superfreak? Read my original confrontation here.) So this past Thurs, Kate and I were up at the cafe for karaoke night, when of course he came in. Surprisingly, he hasn't been his usual supercreepy self, but apparently someone else has been on the end of his attentions, because when we went to leave this woman was screaming at him in the parking lot. She kept yelling "Stay away from my daughter! If I ever see you hit on her again, I'll rip you apart!". It was really scary, and I kinda felt bad for him, but at the same time I absolutely reveled in it.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Why Couldn't It Just Be Werewolves?
That would be a hell of a lot easier for me to handle than crazy people. Though not nearly as amusing for anyone who likes to read my blog.
This past Monday was a full moon, but usually the insanity starts a few days ahead. This started almost a whole week ahead. Last Tuesday morning I was up at the front desk with Mary. This woman walks in muttering to herself - sadly, not all that unusual. She comes up to the front desk, and says something totally incoherent. I was helping a patron, but I said hello, and she walked off. She comes back up a few minutes later and sees our "No cell phones" sign. She starts muttering about how "some son of a bitch took my cell phone...", and then switches to complaining about out automatic door that doesn't work. I started to explain that you had to press the button on the wall for it to open (something most 3 yr olds figure out quickly), when she turned to Mary and said "This one is just as stupid as can be". Oooh - she crossed the line there, but she's crazy, so I let it slide. She continued to stand there and mutter, and we ignored her. One of my habits is playing with the rubber bands at the front desk. I never shoot anyone (well, except the occasional coworker), instead it's just something to keep my hands busy. Well she sees me doing this and says, "You gonna shoot me with that? I'll come over there and slap you". Mary gives her another look, and she said "Oh, I guess not", and then Mary asked her to leave.
Well I had to go to the West Branch to take back some of our props from the Harry Potter party, and when I pulled back up in the parking lot, she was talking to our regular, Coltrane, the schizophrenic. Fantastic. Later that afternoon the we had to call the police on the woman because she slapped another one of our patrons. Apparently the police were well familiar with her.
That just left Coltrane, who decided he wanted to talk to me. I was helping another patron, when he came up to the desk and asked "Do you have any kids?". I said no. "Do you want to have mine?". Oh. My. God. I said no, and that it was horribly inappropriate for him to ask such a thing. I then went and told Diane about it, and she had a talk with him. He came up to me later and said "I'm not sorry for what I said, but if it made you uncomfortable, I guess I'm sorry about that." Umm, ok. I said, "Well, I guess that's sort of an apology."
I wish the story ended there.
The next day he came in, and again, wanted to talk to me. Margaret was at the desk with me, but at the time was shelving some DVDs nearby - she could hear the conversation, and later told me it took everything she had not to die laughing. So he comes up and asks "Are you married?". This time, I thought I had learned, and so I lied. "Yes". "How long have you been married?" "Four years" "You must not be very happy". Ok - I took the bait. "Why is that?" "Because you look angry every time you come to work". I wanted to say that I only looked angry when he appeared, but I didn't. It also occurred to me that it implied he was stalking me, but I haven't seen him that often when I come in, and he's big and slow, so it's not that he's hiding that well.
After that, he pretty much left me alone, except that at some point in time he decided to make up his own language, and took to singing a song in that language outside the doors at the top of his lungs. We decided to ignore it because, well, at least he was outside, and not inside bothering us. Of course, then he decided to come inside and try to talk with us in his language, and we refused and sent him outside again.
That was Tues and Wed. Thursday I was at the Marion Street Cafe for karaoke night, when who should appear? Jesus - maybe he is stalking me. (Not that Jesus was stalking me - don't take things so literally) However, he's been banned, and was soon thrown out.
That's my excitement for the week, I'm sure I'll have more craziness soon.
This past Monday was a full moon, but usually the insanity starts a few days ahead. This started almost a whole week ahead. Last Tuesday morning I was up at the front desk with Mary. This woman walks in muttering to herself - sadly, not all that unusual. She comes up to the front desk, and says something totally incoherent. I was helping a patron, but I said hello, and she walked off. She comes back up a few minutes later and sees our "No cell phones" sign. She starts muttering about how "some son of a bitch took my cell phone...", and then switches to complaining about out automatic door that doesn't work. I started to explain that you had to press the button on the wall for it to open (something most 3 yr olds figure out quickly), when she turned to Mary and said "This one is just as stupid as can be". Oooh - she crossed the line there, but she's crazy, so I let it slide. She continued to stand there and mutter, and we ignored her. One of my habits is playing with the rubber bands at the front desk. I never shoot anyone (well, except the occasional coworker), instead it's just something to keep my hands busy. Well she sees me doing this and says, "You gonna shoot me with that? I'll come over there and slap you". Mary gives her another look, and she said "Oh, I guess not", and then Mary asked her to leave.
Well I had to go to the West Branch to take back some of our props from the Harry Potter party, and when I pulled back up in the parking lot, she was talking to our regular, Coltrane, the schizophrenic. Fantastic. Later that afternoon the we had to call the police on the woman because she slapped another one of our patrons. Apparently the police were well familiar with her.
That just left Coltrane, who decided he wanted to talk to me. I was helping another patron, when he came up to the desk and asked "Do you have any kids?". I said no. "Do you want to have mine?". Oh. My. God. I said no, and that it was horribly inappropriate for him to ask such a thing. I then went and told Diane about it, and she had a talk with him. He came up to me later and said "I'm not sorry for what I said, but if it made you uncomfortable, I guess I'm sorry about that." Umm, ok. I said, "Well, I guess that's sort of an apology."
I wish the story ended there.
The next day he came in, and again, wanted to talk to me. Margaret was at the desk with me, but at the time was shelving some DVDs nearby - she could hear the conversation, and later told me it took everything she had not to die laughing. So he comes up and asks "Are you married?". This time, I thought I had learned, and so I lied. "Yes". "How long have you been married?" "Four years" "You must not be very happy". Ok - I took the bait. "Why is that?" "Because you look angry every time you come to work". I wanted to say that I only looked angry when he appeared, but I didn't. It also occurred to me that it implied he was stalking me, but I haven't seen him that often when I come in, and he's big and slow, so it's not that he's hiding that well.
After that, he pretty much left me alone, except that at some point in time he decided to make up his own language, and took to singing a song in that language outside the doors at the top of his lungs. We decided to ignore it because, well, at least he was outside, and not inside bothering us. Of course, then he decided to come inside and try to talk with us in his language, and we refused and sent him outside again.
That was Tues and Wed. Thursday I was at the Marion Street Cafe for karaoke night, when who should appear? Jesus - maybe he is stalking me. (Not that Jesus was stalking me - don't take things so literally) However, he's been banned, and was soon thrown out.
That's my excitement for the week, I'm sure I'll have more craziness soon.
Monday, July 2, 2007
Freudian Slip
A guy came to the library, and was outside looking at our busted out phone, trying to see if there was a phone book. When he didn't find one, he came inside and asked me if we had one. I handed it to him, and he said "Thanks, you're very good-looking - I mean - helpful. You're very helpful." It's funny, but would've been cooler if it wasn't an old man with one leg in a wheelchair.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
If I Only Had A Lisp...
Maybe dealing with this person the other day would have been easier.
A woman called asking if we had any books with practice tests for some corrections job. We didn't, but I told her we could order one. Well she was taking it really soon, so I told her about a practice test site that we have. So I told her our website ccpl.sirsi.net and told her how to get to the site. Well we struggled a bit, but I thought she had gotten it.
Yesterday, I get a call transferred to me, and it's the same woman. I asked her to read the web address she wrote down. It was ccpl.sir.fi.net. Good lord. So I told her the website again. Ok, ccpl.sirfi.net. No, the second one is an "s". Ok, sirfi.net. No, "s" as in sunburn. She just couldn't get it - even the people waiting for me to get off the phone were like "What the hell is her problem?". Finally I looked up the site and told her to go to learningexpresslibrary.com. If she can't get that, then maybe she should give up on corrections. (Or maybe it's a perfect fit, as long as she doesn't have to use a phone and a computer.)
A woman called asking if we had any books with practice tests for some corrections job. We didn't, but I told her we could order one. Well she was taking it really soon, so I told her about a practice test site that we have. So I told her our website ccpl.sirsi.net and told her how to get to the site. Well we struggled a bit, but I thought she had gotten it.
Yesterday, I get a call transferred to me, and it's the same woman. I asked her to read the web address she wrote down. It was ccpl.sir.fi.net. Good lord. So I told her the website again. Ok, ccpl.sirfi.net. No, the second one is an "s". Ok, sirfi.net. No, "s" as in sunburn. She just couldn't get it - even the people waiting for me to get off the phone were like "What the hell is her problem?". Finally I looked up the site and told her to go to learningexpresslibrary.com. If she can't get that, then maybe she should give up on corrections. (Or maybe it's a perfect fit, as long as she doesn't have to use a phone and a computer.)
Midsummer Night's Dream
Midsummer Night's Dream update:
Tomorrow night is press night. I found this out Monday last week, and have killed myself trying to get a kickass costume together. Thankfully I have a great seamstress (Mary), and a fab hairdresser (Brandi), who really helped me out. I now have awesome hair (asymmetrical cut with cranberry streaks) to match my badass dress (goddess style, cranberry satin with an iridescent reddish/purplish organza overlay - accessories - gold.) Hopefully I can post some pics.
Oh - I'm apparently a pedophile now as well. Or, well Oberon made Titania a pedophile. Confused? Well, the person who was to originally play Bottom, the character Titania is made to fall in love with dropped out. He was in his 40s, and kinda looked like a Parrot-head (Jimmy Buffett fan) - blond curly hair, sunburn, Hawaiian shirts, etc -but he was perfect for the part. However, he had to drop out due to come family emergency. The directors had stretched their pool of actors just to get Oberon (who is fantastic by the way), and so had to move the roles around a bit and put one of the actors we already had in the part. So now Bottom is played by a 16 yr old, and I feel like a total pervert every time I have to hang all over him during rehearsals.
Still, it seems like a good show, and you should come out to see it just because you love me.
Shows are June 29th - July 1st, July 6th-8th, 13th-15th, and 20th-22nd. Fri and Sat shows start at 8pm, Sunday at 2pm, and doors open 1/2 hr before showtime. Tickets can be bought at the Silver Chest (LC), Omni (Gville), and Enchanted Memories (HS). $10 adults, $8 kids and seniors. If any of this info if wrong, Ill post on update.
Tomorrow night is press night. I found this out Monday last week, and have killed myself trying to get a kickass costume together. Thankfully I have a great seamstress (Mary), and a fab hairdresser (Brandi), who really helped me out. I now have awesome hair (asymmetrical cut with cranberry streaks) to match my badass dress (goddess style, cranberry satin with an iridescent reddish/purplish organza overlay - accessories - gold.) Hopefully I can post some pics.
Oh - I'm apparently a pedophile now as well. Or, well Oberon made Titania a pedophile. Confused? Well, the person who was to originally play Bottom, the character Titania is made to fall in love with dropped out. He was in his 40s, and kinda looked like a Parrot-head (Jimmy Buffett fan) - blond curly hair, sunburn, Hawaiian shirts, etc -but he was perfect for the part. However, he had to drop out due to come family emergency. The directors had stretched their pool of actors just to get Oberon (who is fantastic by the way), and so had to move the roles around a bit and put one of the actors we already had in the part. So now Bottom is played by a 16 yr old, and I feel like a total pervert every time I have to hang all over him during rehearsals.
Still, it seems like a good show, and you should come out to see it just because you love me.
Shows are June 29th - July 1st, July 6th-8th, 13th-15th, and 20th-22nd. Fri and Sat shows start at 8pm, Sunday at 2pm, and doors open 1/2 hr before showtime. Tickets can be bought at the Silver Chest (LC), Omni (Gville), and Enchanted Memories (HS). $10 adults, $8 kids and seniors. If any of this info if wrong, Ill post on update.
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